Zach and Maggie

Chills race down my spine as I am greeted by the cold winds of a rainy, March Sunday afternoon blowing upon my face. Yet I know these are not from the seasonal weather, but produced by my realization of where I am. Standing next to me is my best friend of over 10 years. Directly in front of him is the woman of his dreams, his very soon to be wife. For only a few more minutes Zach will be the same immature, crazy, redheaded goofball I’ve known for so long, because in a moment he will make a covenant before God to become one flesh with Maggie for the rest of his life. This 19-year-old boy standing beside me is about to become a man in front of 55 witnesses.

            “What about you? You lookin at any girls at CCA next year?” I asked.

            “Actually, I’m thinking about going after Maggie Hague. Remember her? She went to CCS in 6^th grade,” was Zach’s response.

            “Yeah, yeah! She’s pretty cute dude, I could see that.” I rolled over in my bed and looked up at the ceiling, smiling. Not realizing what I had just heard, we continued talking, far past when my mother had told us to be asleep by, until we could no longer keep our eyes open.

            Now, proudly standing to the left of my closest friend, I can’t seem to close my eyes. Too real to be a dream, this is the moment Zach has been waiting for his entire life. And this is one of those moments for me as well. The five years that have passed since my mind first pictured these two together feel like a fleeting vapor in the wind. No longer a 9^th grade boy, I see tears beginning to roll down Zach’s face. Attempting to keep it together myself, I take a deep breath, face the pastor, and make no attempt to hide my emotion as a smile, 10 years in the making, stretches itself ear to ear across my face.

manic monday

Slowly, I do my very best to separate my dreams from reality as my obnoxious phone alarm goes off for the third time at 8:45. This Sprint auto-tune ringtone echoes like background music in an epic fight scene as I wage war with my exhausted body; these moments are the climax of the hardest part of my day.

Once stabilizing my pitiful, sleepless mind, I stumble my way to the bathroom where I am greeted by the rank smell of the urine I forgot to flush down last night. My roommate will be up before I return from class, so my decision is to add to the reeking toilet without flushing. Immediately after removing my retainer, I meticulously brush and rinse it. This extreme discipline juxtaposed alongside my uncontrollable laziness is truly astounding to see. From here I grab a neatly folded shirt and throw it on my filthy body, which reeks of dried sweat. Looking at the clock, I see that I have only 15 minutes before my teacher takes attendance. No time for anything.

Ignoring, and failing to acknowledge the existence of, my other roommate watching Sportscenter, I grab my trademark Sunbelt chewy Chocolate Chip granola bar and quickly race out the door. Jumping in my car, I am sure to take off my flip-flops despite the brevity of my drive. Before I get going, almost out of requirement, I take a minute to make my music selection from my iPod. Bill Simmons’ “B.S. Report” podcast emerges from the catalog of 7,000 songs. Weaving my way through traffic I speed to each light, racing under them as they turn yellow.

After parking on the Copeland garage’s top level, I put in my earphones and walk to class. With only 5 minutes left before class begins, it’s unlikely I can make it without running. But I walk. For whatever reason, I refuse to run on campus. My phone reads 9:06 as I walk into class, one minute late. The teacher has already begun the lecture, but my optimism tells me I evaded a tardy. Sitting down, I open up my laptop; it’s time to tweet.

face to face with my pillowcase

Often the smallest things in our past can leave the largest imprints on our lives. However, recognizing the impact of these objects and moments presents the toughest challenge, but can produce enlightenment and realizations of the highest caliber. This is not far off from Rebecca McClanahan’s claims that, “The most common things can yield startling surprises when we give our attention to them.” In examining my own past, I have discovered this to be very true. The Miami Dolphins pillowcase I rest my head on each night, lying only inches from my heart, supports my deepest and most sincere thoughts, dreams, and imagination.

            Hardly older than 10 years old when my mother sewed together the threads and seams of this fabric sack, I was just a little boy slowly discovering a passion for sports. As I would continue to grow in age, so too would my love for the Miami Dolphins. The connection to this professional football franchise has become amongst the deepest secular passions in my life. Of course, while this alone carries significant implications in my life, much more than my NFL fan hood is encapsulated in between my comforter and mattress.

            It’s not much to look at, really. The vibrant teal and orange, which once attracted even the laziest of eyes, has faded noticeably. Full disclosure, the soft cotton fabric has probably absorbed more of my saliva than anything else on this planet. Yet where has it traveled? My pillowcase has accompanied me to a four star hotel in New York City, inside a snow-covered log cabin in the Rocky Mountains, on the top of a musty cot in the Big Easy, and everywhere in between. By my side and closer to me than any other, it has been everything I had hoped for and far more. There have been few journeys I have taken without my pillowcase. Still, beyond being with me for all my greatest adventures, it has played a more meaningful role.

            With only a few exceptions, every night for more than 8 years I have laid my head down upon this pillowcase and let my mind drift away into my dreams. Oh the many things I have dreamt while sleeping soundly on these soft fabrics! More than anything else, my Dolphins pillowcase has been the gateway to my uncontrolled imagination and carried me through the emotional rollercoaster of life. When I had nothing else to cling to, I held on to my dreams. Some were produced by sleepless nights staring at the ceiling; others my clustered brain mixing thoughts together like a mad scientist. However they came about, they helped lead me to where I am today. And as I move forward, I continue to dream about what my future holds. With every new day I anticipate wild, unpredictable dreams leading to an awesome, unexpected future.

            I know not when I will sleep my last night with my pillowcase. Perhaps something will damage it beyond repair. Perhaps I will lose it. Perhaps my future wife will tell me it has to go. When that day comes, it will be a sad one. Forever, that humble, teal sheet of cotton will be tied to my youth. But for now, I will get ready for bed; it’s almost time to go to sleep.

Change

Originally this blog was made for my English class, but now that the semester is over I have decided to turn it into my own personal blog. So to my 2 followers, Stu and Debo, enjoy. And Stu since you're my first follower I'll be sure to give you shout outs once I'm famous. I'll hook you up with a free shirt once my blog gets bigger than club trillion.

floating blog 9

I was on team 2 for the citation jeopardy game so I'm using my free blog pass on this blog.

the search for research

         Although originally I was a little unsure as to what research for my topic would actually look like, I talked to Kim and was able to broaden my horizons to realize how to get started.

At first I just started Google-ing things. She reminded me to use Google scholar and the library’s website. That definitely helped. Not sure what I was thinking. Also, I was searching for essentially articles that talked about exactly what I was writing my paper on. Thinking that was what I needed to find for my research, I became a little discouraged. Although I did find a few articles concerning gay stereotypes in the show, most of them were very brief or unhelpful. Once I realized what to search for, my results improved very quickly.

Since I’m writing about stereotypes of the gay community I need to make sure I increase my knowledge of gay culture as a whole and focus my research on the history, development, and state of the community. One key aspect I have been trying to find articles on is the representation of the gay community both by the media as well as other ways in society. Researching this representation of gays in the media is crucial to the strength of my paper. Additionally, on an even broader scale, I have researched masculinity in modern America to help shed light on the public’s often skewed perception of homosexuality.

Of course, with the nature of my topic being such a hot button issue in America- today more than ever- content and amount have not been the problem. Literally thousands of articles and journals have been posted online regarding homosexuality in America. This obviously preferable to not having sufficient coverage of your topic, but still has its downfalls.

The difficulties I have found in researching such a largely debated issue is that much of what has been written online is very partial and opinionated and as a result, quality decreases opposite the increase in quantity. It seems everyone has something to say about the way homosexuality is treated in America and ironically, opposing views often share the same complaints. My struggle is sifting through the copious amounts of articles and journals to find one’s that will eventually, if not immediately, aid in the writing of my research paper. A great aid in this has been FSU’s library. Most of what I have found in there has been credible, relevant material that doesn’t seem to waste anyone’s time. This has made the process of “keeping and tossing” easier; most of the sources I’ve found on the library’s site I’ve kept, while a much smaller portion of those I’ve found on less filtered search engines have been worthwhile.

Overall, I have found some quality sources and research for my paper, but I know I’m far from finished. A great deal of work still remains, but I am growing optimistic and believe now that I can do it and finish the job. 

presentation is everything

Through the multimodal revision of my crot essay, I was able to explore several visual remedies to enhance my paper. Although I only chose one outlet to display my crots, I considered several options. My final decision was to use wikispaces and give each crot an individual section on my wiki. This was a great way to separate the crots while still conveying them all as a whole. I would definitely consider returning to wikispaces for a multimodal revision in the future.

Another option I considered was creating a video in which I read my crots aloud and created a digital presentation to correspond to the audio recording similar to the video “Drinking out of cups” on YouTube. This would be an excellent way to creatively broadcast my essay and keep the audience interested. Perhaps with more time I will reconsider this option as well for another project.

Finally, I thought about a powerpoint presentation with slides for every crot, each having pictures or some form of animation to help convey the message of the story. This option seemed a little too familiar to me since I have done several PowerPoints in the past and was hoping to expand my horizon this time around. Additionally, I thought it might be a popular choice amongst my fellow classmates.

Even just getting myself thinking about these forms of media presentations and visuals should greatly help me in the future for multimodal revisions I may be assigned.

        

nobody's perfect

Every writer has their struggles right? Well sometimes the most important thing is just knowing what they are. I have been giving some thought to mine and although I was already fairly aware of some problems in my writing, reassessing them has shed some new light on areas that could use some improvement. Here are three big ones:

1) Imagery- My writing comfort zone is more black and white. I prefer to write fact-based reports or historical, analytical papers rather than fantasy novels or fictional short stories about some made up character. I've grown up writing non-descriptive papers that restate the prompt and need to implement more details into my writing, as well as further develop my imagination and colorful writing.
2) Dialogue- The recent community crots we have been working on in class have really helped me make strides in my dialogue writing, but there is still work to be done! Being forced to write in that format has also made me realize how poor my imagination has been in this aspect in previous years. Hopefully I can continue to develop my skill in this area.
3) Syntax- Although I don't feel that this is a glaring hole in my papers, I would like to continue to develop my sentence structure. Its my desire to learn more and more ways to say things and organize the words in each sentence to find the perfect way to express the message I'm trying to convey.

room for improvement

Since I didn’t take ENC1101, I was unfamiliar with crots and workshopping, but over the last couple weeks I have begun to understand what is expected of me. Getting my first 2 drafts revised has helped me learn how to write a good crot. I’m very glad I was able to get a feel for what Kim is looking for through the drafts rather than turning in a paper that is not well formulated. Now that I have the concept of a crot down, I can continue to expand my imagination in writing new crots as well as refining the ones I have already written. I am continually improving and making strides in my crots.

By seeing how I can better improve my own crots, I have also begun to enhance my revising skills. Equipped with an increased comprehension of crots, my workshopping is also seeing improvements. Knowing the time and effort others have put into reading over my own work, I am making sure to put in the time and effort, on my own end, necessary to provide helpful insight, in the hope of helping my classmates in any way possible. For the most part, I have been very impressed and inspired from my group’s writings. They have shown great depth and detailed description. For the first draft I have left my comments and hope they were received well, ultimately enhancing the crots in the process. Reading my classmates crots has greatly helped me realize how my own crots should look and sound. Workshopping as a whole has been very helpful to me and I am looking forward to continuing them over the coming weeks.

As for my conference, other than the trip to the dungeon in Dodd, I found it to be very beneficial. Going over my draft with Kim was great. She really communicated clearly with me what her expectations were for the crots and what I could do personally to improve them. As we read through my work, I gained a great deal of insight and several key components to work on. Enhancing my description and detailed interactions as well as more in depth dialogue should go a long way in strengthening my final draft. Hopefully I can continue to make great strides on my paper and move closer to perfecting the final copy.

Overall I think the workshopping and revising has been very beneficial to me and I believe in the future it will reap positive results. Getting practical critiques complemented by encouraging reassurances has been very useful to me already in just the few weeks I’ve been writing these crots. With my classmates and Kim’s suggestions and criticisms my comprehension and cohesion have grown immensely. Taking and applying these things are helping me refine my writing at a much higher level. I also believe that by workshopping and reading over others’ works should help me when I read over my own work and hopefully correct some of the errors made or alter some things in order to enhance the paper as a whole. As my writing continues to improve, I look forward to continuing these workshops and conferences in the coming months.

you know guys

“I’m not gona lie dude, if a girl comes up to me tonight and starts making out with me, I’m not gona fight it. Only if she’s hot of course.” These were the words spoken by the tall, college-aged gentleman in front of me at the Linkin Park concert to what I would assume was his friend standing alongside him.

“I mean that will probably happen; you can never be too prepared,” was the sarcastic reply of his friend as he rolled his eyes and slid his hands back into his pockets.

“It’s the truth bro,” guy one responded picking up on the sarcasm but ignoring it by raising his eyebrows and playing along. “I’ll tell you something else. I’m a big fan of tattoos on chicks. Nothing hotter than a lower back tat on a babe. Also a big fan of the rib cage or ankle tats.”

“Really?” came the shocked response of guy two. His eyes squinted with surprise as he jerked his head to confirm the seriousness of his friend. “Tattoos are a major turn off for me with chicks; that, and short hair. I don’t know, I just feel like I want a girl to have perfect skin, free of blemish. I mean I know that’s not realistic but a tattoo just ruins that.”

“Agree with the short hair. That’s a big one for me too,” guy one affirmed by nodding and pointing his index finger towards guy two almost as if to legitimize his comment.

Guy two elaborated, “Way too many girls do it and I don’t understand why. Almost nobody can pull it off. I mean some girls look good in spite of short hair, but they would look better with longer hair for sure. If you’re hot, you’re hot. If you’re not, you’re not.”

“For real though. It’s always awkward when a friend cuts it short and everybody’s lying to her telling her they like it. Then you see it and you’re like ‘Oh, Denise, you cut your hair…’ –you hang there for forever, then you’re like- ‘What’s going on?’ She tries to act like she didn’t notice, but the damage was done bro. Damage was done.” Guy one replicated what I assumed would have been his body language during the actual conversation.

“Bro it was rough for real when Denise cut her hair. That junk looked dank,” guy 2 replied shaking his head in disgust. His face shrank in as if he had smelled something foul.

“Yeah but Denise has got a donk!” guy one responded, nodding his head as he said “donk.”

“Yeah but that’s about it though.”

“But it’s enough dog.”

“Not for me it’s not,” guy two authoritatively declared shaking his head in disapproval.

“I don’t know man…”

“Whatever dude. You can have her,” guy two said to finish the debate.

After a long silence, guy one steadily pounded his fist to his open hand and excitedly said, “This concert is gona be sick bro! I can’t freakin wait!”

“I know bro…I can’t believe we’re finally seeing them,” guy two replied with a big smile, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I’m gona get a beer and take a wiz. Save my spot.”

a new year, a new experience

Although I did not take ENC 1101, I took AP Language and Composition my junior year and AP Literature my senior year. I got a 3 on both AP final exams and the Lang test gave me credit for ENC 1101. A 4 on the Lit exam would have given me 1102 credit but unfortunately I came up just a bit short. However, I did gain a great deal of experience and learned a lot from those two courses during the last couple years of high school. AP Lang helped get me into reading more as we dove into classics like the Great Gatsby and Their Eyes Were Watching God as well as one of my personal favorites, The Kite Runner. Free reading book report assignments were given as well, reinforcing the importance of reading constantly. Additionally we covered several different types of essays and worked on developing the skills necessary to write them. AP Lit was very similar in structure to AP Lang, however the writing was less mechanical. Encouraged to write less analytically I was forced to extend myself. The experience showed me how much I enjoy writing when I sit down and actually do it. I have since found a passion for it and look forward to continually developing my writing in the future.

As for ENC 1102, I have heard mixed reviews. Many have told me it’s a very easy course, while others contrastingly say it requires a great deal of work and dedication. Based on what I’ve heard combined with the syllabus and what we’ve gone over in the first week, I feel that its not going to be an easy course, but as long as I am willing to work hard and stay on top of my assignments I should be able to find success in the class. Regardless of what I think about it, I realize by the end of the semester I am going to have put it a lot of time, effort, and work and have no doubt I will have learned a great deal.

I have high expectations for myself this semester, and ENC 1102 is no exception. My hope is that I will be able to continue to refine my writing skills and improve my overall diversity as a writer. As I continue to write papers for other classes and this one, I trust that this course will improve my writing ability in many ways. I also look forward to putting more color into my writing. The English language is a beautiful thing and does not need to always be maintained within the black and white boundaries college classes often require. Personally I know that I feel comfortable and safe within those boundaries and rarely allow myself to use my imagination. Hopefully through this course I will be able to let my mind open up more to writing the creative styles, techniques and ideas that I have so often limited myself to in the past. These things and more should ultimately lead to a great semester in this class.